Forget the polls, pundits and analysts. Forget the Electoral College, too. The winner of the Presidential election will be determined by the sales of our new ‘Red State’ gelato flavor versus our ‘Blue State’ gelato flavor between now and the time the polls close on Election Day!
Who needs Beltway analysts and political bloggers? We’ve got gelato! (Plus, we are fully prepared to appear via hologram on CNN on Election Night should the network require our expert gelato analysis). Here’s how it will work. The Red State gelato is a creamy sweet corn gelato with smoky salty bits of Midwestern bacon and the Blue State gelato is cheesecake base from our Great Lake Democrats with swirls of cranberries from the North East mulled with California Red Wine. Whichever flavor sells more between now and the time the polls close on Election Night will determine the winner!
We want all of you to exercise your civic duty and make your voices heard in this important election! As a special incentive to vote early and vote often (as we do in Louisiana), both of these gelato flavors are $1 off between now and election night!
Want more info? Here’s a YouTube Video: